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MistressColleen

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for weerd [17 Jul 2010|12:48pm]
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ya know... [02 Jul 2010|09:57pm]
Ya know... Im dog sitting with a nice pool, full bar, nice house. And i dont think i could get anyone to come over and hang out with me even if i had a stripper on a pole (male or female) over here. I suck.
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Thank you Sgt Ortiz [13 Jun 2010|06:47pm]
I would like to thank Sgt. Ortiz for making my last half hour of work AWESOME lol. A cranky old man (COM) came in while i was helping Sgt create an acct when COM came in demanding a manager. I politely said hes on a business call can i help you? he said No youre just an employee you cant help me at all. I said are you sure? It might save you some time. He said youre not gona be able to help me honey, its a store policy and i KNOW youre not going to be able to change it.

Thats when Sgt said out loud to himself wow that guys a DICK!

COM replied with his dentures rattling "Are ya done? Are ya done now?!"

SGT: Oh im JUST gettin started im an EOB- an equal opportunity bastard.

COM:Oh yeah so im a DICK huh? A JERK?

SGT:She was VERY polite to you. Very professional you dont need to be talking like that to her she was just trying to do her job and help you out.

words were volleyed around for a minute or two more. COM toddled off to Tony the manager and I stood there giggling and smiling.

The old man was about to leave and he shouted over to Sgt and me and said "If i was 20 years younger Id take this outside".

SGT: How old are you now Sir?

COM: Im 76!

SGT so if you were 56 YOUD kick MY ass ?

COM YA DAMN RIGHT!

SGT HAVE A NICE DAY SIR!

COM ::rabble rabble::

SGT HAVE A NICE DAY SIR!

COM: ::rabble rabble:: ::shakes fist::



HAHAH! Awesome end to a VERY tiresome day lol
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[09 Jun 2010|07:36pm]
Im so tired of trying to find someone for me. And if you tell me to stop looking,  I might just strangle you.  IF i had a life where i went out with friends a lot, worked at  more than 10 hrs a week, were a member of a group or something MAYBE I wouldn't want to strangle you. But I sit at home a lot, no friends to really hang with,  and noone at work id want to hang out with.  I WONT go to bars alone. So dont even ask. 
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For Weerd :) [09 Apr 2010|10:38am]
 
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ahh sisters [26 Mar 2010|03:53pm]

Sister: stopped at an endcap - "Hey, ya know what?..."

Me: "That if you just farted we should start walking now?"

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[24 Mar 2010|05:29pm]
HEY WEERD! 

http://www.news4jax.com/slideshow/news/22932087/detail.html

A right whale was born today off the coast of my city !
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[22 Mar 2010|08:51pm]
I CAN BREATHE THRU MY LUNGS! 

I went to the ER today after my dr sent me there and got nebulizer treatment and IC steroids and iv antibiotics and ive slept SOOO nice this afternoon!
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[20 Mar 2010|09:02am]
I CAN BREATHE THRU MY NOSE!!
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sick [19 Mar 2010|04:41pm]
dear lord who invented the flu!?just going down the stairs to get soda my sister brought for me (when i have insomnia it relaxes me so i can sleep) just going downstairs and back up again kicked my ass. i hope its enough to get me to sleep for a bit
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bank [16 Mar 2010|11:44pm]
AP Colleen: you work.
AP Colleen: youre makin bank
AP Colleen: so you can drink w friends later
AP Colleen: i make piggy bank
fluffy: You have stumbled on the only reason i work
AP Colleen: lol
AP Colleen: i love you fluffy
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[16 Mar 2010|09:34am]
im going to the drs but thanks to medicare cuts i have to pay my deductible first... so thats 114 which leaves me w 27$ til next friday unless my refund comes in, but i wanted to buy a tv with  my refund
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its 1144 am [14 Mar 2010|11:45am]
according to my little drug store breathalyzer, i just blew a .06 lol. at 1144 am. i went to bed at 4 with a .16 hehe
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i need a new tv. [12 Mar 2010|01:20am]
I have a 19 year old 19 inch tv. and the rolling and a faded line across the screen have been killing me for years... yes. years. i get $144 back in taxes this month, but what i want to know is can you turn a flat panel monitor into a tv ? i have a satelite box and an hdtv tuner for when i dont have satelite. but waht would i need to do to hook up a monitor to them?
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[09 Mar 2010|07:39pm]
Why doesnt someone run a press release suggesting if Toyota owners find themselves in the position of having their accelerator stuck, to try to throw it in neutral? The Prius owner said he didnt think of that at 90mph. understandable but if i owned one id  have that in the back of my head.
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OH! [09 Mar 2010|06:20am]
i utterly forgot to post this yesterday but



MY LAND LADY NEGOTIATED, AND SHES KEEPING THE HOUSE! WOOOO!
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plant dream [06 Mar 2010|09:08am]
i cant remember my whole dream but i do remember some teenagers running around riverside and climbling and spinning on two and three story buildings like it was nothing. and highschool kids beating eachother up.

but the weirdest part of the dream was, i was sitting in a house with most of the nerd crew and playing with these weird plants that grow inches a day but they are air plants. i was holding the dish that they were in and Alec and his dad were there. we start watching something on tv and i notice a pinch in my stomach. its the plant trying to grow into my skiin to attach itself to something. i pull most of it out and theres some i couldnt pull out and i notice something blue under my skin.

i move the stub of the plant around and inside my abdomen is one of the antibiotics i took for my last chest infection. it spins around it comes partially out but i cant pull it out because the plant rooted it inside the cavity it created

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hair [04 Mar 2010|06:58pm]
I was talking to a customer at work who was a fabulously dressed gay black man with a dainty nose peircing and one over his lip. I said i know you probly get asked alot but ive NEVER gotten my hair styled and i WONT get it colored ever, but waht should i do with my hair.

he said "girl you gona hate waht i gota say". i said i know... cut it. he said its fine and long fine hair ends up stretching out the hair which i already knew.

he said my hair's base color is a #7 blonde. and i should go a few shades darker to make my eyes POP. and i would never get blunt bangs esp with the shape of my face. which he agrees with me on. but he suggested layers from the bottom of my ears to past my shoulders and cut the hair to my armpits. that sounds like alot of work and change. and i hear layers are a bitch. maybe just something to frame my face?
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priorities [02 Mar 2010|06:17pm]
I went to a soon to be defunct mall today. Old navy closed as well as lane bryant and i dont know what else cause i havent walked thru the whole mall yet. I saw a getto fabulously dressed woman come out of the mall with a few bags and get into a POS car.

i guess my priorities in life are rent, a safe clean car, and medical care rather than lookin fabulous.
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the ZOOO [01 Mar 2010|11:22pm]
i went to the zoo today with August, Josh, Charles, Margy, Emily and Alexa :) LOVELY weather!! i didnt burn! And i didnt get tired! i think i have a lung issue lol cause i took my symbicort and i had NO problem breathing... til my nose filled with snot LOL. my feet hurt but i felt awesome!

i fed the stingrays and the largest one sucked up almost my whole frickin hand and it felt slippery/boney/fleshy. it made me wonder if
thats what a HYOOOGE vagina would feel like if you added suction to it hehe

and yes i took pics of the capybaras :)
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